As a female lifter, I’ve periodically run across the concept of fetishization of muscular women. I more typically run across the opposite of that sentiment; I’ve listened to/read commentary that lables muscular women as, at best “masculine” and, more often, “freakish.” Today, I’m going to explore the strange and shadowy world of dudes online who obsess over women with muscles. Actually, I’m not, to any great extent. If said dudes have a fetish for lady muscle, that’s great. I guess. I mean, yeah, it’s great. Yeah! Have your fetish! Fly the freak flag et al! But every once in a while I realize that I’m being targeted as a object of the fetishization in question, and every once in a while I think that maybe this fact deserves a blog post of its very own, and every once in a GREAT while I actually write a blog post so this is what you’re getting today: a post about the search terms people have thrown into google and found my blog as a result of their queries. As a member of wordpress, I am able to view basic statistics regarding how many people view my site on a given day as well as what search terms are being used that bring in traffic. The following images depict what my current search term roster looks like. Note that the following images have numbers and commentary poorly applied by my shaky mouse-finger in a graphics program. Look below the images for further commentary on enumerated terms.
1. So there’s some sort of fetish involving chicks with boobs…wait for it…AND biceps. Wow. Unfortunately for those into such things who stumble across my blog, I have only one of the two necessary attributes to be an object worthy of this fetish-holders focus. I mean, okay, I have boobs. But come on, not really, have you seen them?
2. I think this is evidence of interests that sparked the abovementioned search term’s google entry.
3. This has nothing to do with biceps/boobs/fetishizing strong chicks, but man, that’s appetizing. And what the hell, I’m pretty sure the word “sludge” appears nowhere in this blog’s history up to now.
4. FAVORITE SEARCH TERM OF ALL TIME. We can all go home now.
I couldn’t get a screencap of the entire list at once so I had to take three. Here’s the next series of search terms that brought up my blog, also enumerated.
Notice a few things here: gorilla arms. I’m not the only one that realizes I have these. The question is, what else about me is also gorilla? Possibly toenail length.
5. SECOND FAVORITE SEARCH TERM EVER I don’t even remotely know what this one means. Hairtostay–is this a hair growth thing? I bet it IS. Why did someone looking for a hair loss product actually click on a link to my blog when they pulled it in their search results? Dumbass.
6. Yep, Kyle’s pretty awesome and this dude obviously knows that. That said, am I sitting here detailing Kyle’s training on this blog? Do you see me doing that? No. You see me admitting to having horrendously long toenails and subjecting my poor boyfriend to them, though. Kyle, the fact that you see my overgrown nails/caterpillar neglected eyebrows/my weird relationship with my Foreman Grill and my blender is a strange, indirect signal of my love for you. I swear. It makes sense to ME, anyway.
And the third and final screencap. Notice continuing terminology trends:
Alright, I forgot to assign a number to that second term in that image, but male. Powerlifters. Cumshot. I don’t even know. How did this lead this searcher to my blog? Where did I ever have that third portion of this search term appear in this blog, ever? I do not need to use the term cumshot in conjunction with powerlifting. No one needs to use the term cumshot in conjunction with powerlifting. My computer agrees–it’s telling me cumshot is not a word. Oh, innocent computer.
7. My triceps are weak, but my biceps bring in the views. Wtf.
8. See the intro to this blog.
9. See #8.
Notice the very last search term. This confirms it. No one gives a shit how you train unless they train. Do I keep a log of my training numbers? Yes. Do I post it here with the delusional conviction that you people are going to find it fascinating? Hell no. You want boobs and biceps or crazyass deadlifting so you can tell me my form needs work or whatever.
So here you go. No boobs. Biceps. Next question.