Update: Thoughts on the Bulk, Closer to a Resolution

Here’s a vlog with more commentary from me on weight classes, eating disordered histories, and how much I weigh RIGHT NOW OOH.

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5 thoughts on “Update: Thoughts on the Bulk, Closer to a Resolution

  1. The concept that your eating disordered history is in some way helpful to your athletic performance/weight cutting is interesting to me. I never really thought about that before but it makes a lot of sense. A lot of the people I know who have a history of eating issues (including myself) are amongst the most stubborn, determined, and disciplined people that I know. If you channel these qualities into something productive instead of something destructive they can be major assets. So maybe it’s partially that experience with eating issues helps you learn to deal with physical discomfort and such, but I think a big component of it is that the personality type that is (more) likely to develop eating issues is the same personality type that has what it takes to be successful athletically…

    Not really sure where I’m going with this… just chewing on the idea.

    1. This is a fantastic reply, and I kind of posted on my blog and ran the day I posted that and thus haven’t caught up with comments till now.

      I will reiterate that I don’t really enjoy the fact that the eating disorder history gives me tools that facilitate making weight (the weight maintenance AND the water-manipulation parts of it). It’s ironic and not really something I want to turn into a “sell” for EDs. That said, you learn from the pain you experience. It’s stupid to do otherwise, and it’s how we evolve. I’ll put what tools I have into practice, but I’ve got to do it mindfully (I use that word knowing that it’s completely overused these days, sigh).

  2. Reframing the characteristics that helped you sustain the ED as strengths is fantastic. I also think that for a weight class athlete it makes sense to experiment with how you feel in different weight classes and find the class you feel is optimal for you. Moving up one weight class I think is a great strategy for you, and I’m looking forward to hearing about how your next competition goes!

  3. You are a brave soul. I know what chronic anxiety is like I surely do. Managing, that’s what I hear in this vlog post. Managing can be very, very, tough. By managing I mean balancing. Balancing the power of obsession with sanity. Obsession in elite level sports seems to have some very positive aspects to it but as you know (and I think this sadly affects women competitors more) the dark side leads to self destruction. I appreciate your comments describing what a struggle this experience is for you sometimes but still you prevail. Very brave.

    1. I really want to be successful in this pursuit and that DOES mean overcoming a lot of fear. I also have to overcome the parts of myself that pose obstacles, and that is no easy task, either! Here’s hoping that I continue to be able to do it. Reflecting on the process here makes a huge difference in releasing some of the negative, anxious energy, and I appreciate the support I receive from those who read my blog. Community helps. Thanks for your encouragement!

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